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Come back hot temperatures...I need my excuse back!



At last.


The air conditioning machine can go back in the loft.


The heat's finally buggered off.


And so has my excuse for how I've been feeling the last few days.


I can no longer say I'll feel better once the heat's gone.


See, the heat wasn't the problem.


The circumstance you find yourself in never is.


My reaction to the heat was hiding my reactions to a few other things going on in my life.


Don't get me wrong, the heat doesn't help. It drains me, slows my thinking. Encourages me to do nothing but sit.


On the plus side I'm further through Wu Assassins on Netflix than I expected to be.


But it certainly doesn't create feelings of doubt about the path I've chosen.


That's all me.


Luckily I quickly recognised I was doing it


Reasonably quickly.


When that happens, I always advise doing something. Anything will do. As long as it moves you towards positivity and away from doubt.


So, I doubled down on my business plan.


I'm currently planning the next 3 months or so anyway, so I dove into the detail. Even started ticking off items.


Planning and doing.


This'll work, I thought.


Getting ahead of the game will sort my shit out.


I felt worse.


Anxiety was suddenly give a voice.


Damn thing found purchase on my plan...


Are these the right things to be doing? Can I do any of them even sooner? What if they don't resonate with people? Things are quiet because it's the school hols...aren't they...but what if I'm actually doing the wrong things?


I'm sure you recognise some of these annoying-as-fook thoughts...


But I'm a coach. I recognise these thoughts. These feelings. I know what to do.


But I didn't do it.


Instead, I shifted gears.


More doing.


Hit the yoga mat. Went walking.


Too hot.


Sweaty frustration joined the anxiety.


Spiral started again.


Then.


Teenage-Daughter showed me where to find the next step.


Our cheesy, smaltzy, guilty pleasure of Queer Eye. Where my soul is always cleansed (usually in my tears).


In the particular episode we watched Karamo inspire a chap to look for answers somewhere other than himself.


"Plan. Do. Ask for help."


Damn it.


I'd only been focusing on the first two.


A quick, focused chat with my wife.


She's helping me with some of the actions I hadn't realised were way outside my comfort zone (and in hers) and were playing on my mind.


Next, a WhatsApp message to my coach.


(Yes, coaches have coaches.)


Just writing the message clarified a few things in my mind, and her quick, supportive response kicked my butt in the right direction.


We even caught up for a few minutes later on.


Talked it through. She asked me questions, I dug in for the answers I knew were there.


Thank you Wife for listening to my pleas for help.


Thank you Lynda for kicking my backside in such a supportive way.


Thank you Teenage-Daughter for sharing Queer Eye with me.


Thank you Karamo for the cheesy, smaltzy, crap that sometimes just works.


Such a simple thing: asking for help. Such a powerful thing.


Don't look at the circumstance. It's out of your control. It will come and go whether you like it or not.


Look at the feeling. Get curious about the feeling.


Plan and do. They'll move you forward.


But don't forget to ask for help.


It will help you realise the answer isn't waiting beyond the circumstance.


It's inside you. Right now.


It's like air conditioning for the soul.

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©2019 by Colin Mobey